Eijaz Khan: I didn’t know how to handle fame

You said you had to lie to yourself to lie to the audience. Are you able to separate the two now?

My emotional channels are completely open. All the drainage and blockages are gone. Now I cry more, I feel more.

So now you don’t believe your own lies?

No no, now I acknowledge that I am lying. It’s easier that way.

So you are handling fame better than you used to.

Yeah. I was an arrogant fart. I didn’t know how to handle fame. My then-girlfriend actually kicked me out. I was so bad, it was ridiculous. There was a sense of arrogance that didn’t come from ‘I am the best actor’, but from hard work. I think I am the only actor in Balaji Telefilms who has shot nonstop for 73 hours. I have worked so hard for two years, I haven’t slept for more than four hours and that too on alternate nights. That gave me a sense of arrogance – ‘I am working so hard I deserve this’. It seeps into your real life and it is not healthy. That has evaporated completely and I know that whatever happens, happens for the best. You just have to try your best and let it go.

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