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So let’s begin with the appetiser.The first song is a dialogue-based theme song, Kabhie kabhie mere dil me yeh sawaal ata hai. Are these dialogues intended to be funny? Are they supposed to be making fun of Sardars? Or are they said in shaan of the Sardar? It gets so repetitive that you don’t care what Ajay Devgn’s really trying to say!

The title track Son Of Sardaar has the electric guitar, the dhol and that Punjabi beat. But the constant appearance of the words Son Of Sardaar gets on your nerves.

Rani tu mai raja sounds like it’s been stolen from a 90s Govinda flick. The only difference is that Govinda dance numbers still bring a smile to our lips, while this one is simply annoying. Yo yo Honey Singh’s rapping sounds like heaven when compared to the mediocre tune of the rest of the song.

Bichdann is the romantic song on this album, sung by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan. The composition is in the zone of the maestro Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. It’s a good effort at creating a different sound and effect – combining the tabla with drum rolls and violins with alaaps. It’s the only good composition in the soundtrack, but it’s definitely not the biggest (???) love song of 2012, as the makers claim!

Yeh jo halki halki is a desi tune infused with heavy guitar work. The harmonium and tabla make an appearance at several points too. Himesh aims to create a folk fusion number, but something’s just not right. The tempo is odd and Rahat Fateh Ali Khan’s singing gets lost in the loud musical arrangement. Poetic lyrics like Zulfein labon ko chume, Behosh bhi nahi hoon, pee bhi nahi hai chupte chupte ghume are wasted here.

After listening to the song Po po sung by Vikas Bhalla, Aman Trikha and Himesh Reshammiya, I have decided to file a petition with the Information and Broadcast Ministry appealing to them to ban the following words from Bollywood’s song dictionary – nachle, soniye, mere naal, soni and kudiye. The use of too many instruments and some few tried and tested catchy words doesn’t make for a great song, but merely creates chaos!

And it’s not over yet – there is one last song left – Tu kamaal di kudi, sung by Mamta Sharma and Vineet Singh. And you are subject to yet another round of dhol shol!

Then comes the last leg of the album – as expected, remix versions of the title song, Rani tu main raja and Bichdann. About these numbers, there is just one thing I would like to say: no comment.

We do know that Son Of Sardaar’s music is meant to have mass appeal and is not expected to be a masterpiece. But it fails even as mass entertainer because the music you get is like a Punjabi version of two-minutes noodles. We expected to at least be served makke di roti, sarson da saag and a glass of lassi, if not chicken masala when we were invited to this over-the-top Punjabi wedding party. I’d rather chat up some entertaining Punjabi aunties than listen to these wannabe Punju songs!