The actress on on love, RK and everything else in between...
They say when truly in love, it changes the person. I have known Katrina Kaif for more than seven years now, but today she seems more open, less reserved and laughs a lot. It’s always tough trying to get her to speak the L-word (Hint: It’s love) but for once this time she’s not so guarded. Katrina opens up on many things — among them, her marriage plans and yes, Ranbir Kapoor.
So is the calm, cool and collected Katrina the real one or is it just a defensive facade?
No. There’s a huge side to me which I do think can be objective that is fairly balanced, secure and sorted but I think that the variety of experiences that I have gone through in life will make you that way or will make you crazy. Let’s say I am not crazy (laughs) but that I have used these life experiences to learn from and to my benefit. I try to be as positive as possible while going through these experiences. It doesn’t always come naturally and inherently to me. I can often sink into the what-ifs, pessimistic approach to various situations. It doesn’t always come naturally to me to be optimistic. I have learned slowly and gone through my phases. But no complaints — I have had 12 amazing years in every capacity and all areas of my life, personally and professionally. Of course there has been a year-and-a-half-years out of those which have been personally very confusing, painful and conflicted.
During that time I was filled with anxiety and dread but only a few knew. I wouldn’t say never say never but I hope I never go through that time again! I have fought the kind of personal battles that I thought I would never face in my life that took me by surprise and shook my very being. But it definitely made me stronger and appreciate a lot of things.
Was it post your breakup with Salman?
That I can’t tell you (laughs). You know me, I don’t reveal everything. Let’s put it this way, when I say personal I don’t mean regarding another guy necessarily. Those are romantic battles. I am not talking about that.
As an individual, it can be caused by many things but all I can say is that I went through a very hard time. Everyone goes through their good and bad times, but how you come out through that is something that I have learned now. I came out that that situation with a lot of people from some great people around me. I am also religious, my mom is very religious and that helped me also a lot. I have that feeling of not being alone but God watching over us. One thing I take away from what I went through is we forget the simple things, and how much we have to be grateful for as an actor. What I have seen, achieved, do, have — we forget how much we are privileged, the good fortune and success I have had in my life and the blessings that I have received. It’s important to never forget that rather than focusing on what someone else has achieved and what’s going away. I do feel insecure almost every day but then that’s a mind shift, you need to shift your mind to more positive thoughts. It’s the way to be happy. I see people struggling around me and I feel I am blessed to have the amount of happiness that I have.
There is constant speculation about your engagement and marriage. When do you see it happening?
When I see it happening is not the only factor in two people getting engaged. Both have to see it happening. It’s too personal a topic for me to elaborate on. Marriage is about two people being at the right place, in that place together and at the right time. I feel that when the time has to come will come but it is not right now. And although I understand fully and respect everybody’s asking about our engagement we are not yet engaged either. Why do we always want to run and get everyone married off? Why can’t we just be happy? Both Ranbir and I are working professionals and concentrating on our work and both happy. Why can’t we just allow things to happen naturally but just push everyone into a marriage? It will happen at the right time hopefully. Two people who love each other very much, will want to and hopefully get married. Hopefully, everything will fall into place.
You just said the L (word) Word with reference to Ranbir!
I didn’t say which two people! (smiles)
Is it important to be good friends first in a relationship and then chemistry happens later?
I don’t know... I don’t think there’s any rule to falling in love. Nobody can predict it. Being understanding and emotional as friends is fine, but love is a very strong, beautiful and passionate emotion. I am a Cancerean and we are very emotional people, but I am more detached when it comes to showing my emotions. By nature, we are less demonstrative and just because you are less demonstrative or talkative about your love in public, doesn’t mean that you love less. I am a very demonstrative person and I need to express everything I feel.
But you don’t talk about the person you love...
To you, no? But not to the person I love... In front of the person I love, I am very demonstrative and affectionate because that’s our Cancerean nature.
But you have never felt the need to stake your claim to your man in public to let other actresses know you are dating him?
No. It’s not about insecurity. I have a different approach to it. You cannot stop anyone from doing anything by laying your stake or claim on them. That’s not going to stop anyone. If a person has to stray or wander, the whole world can see you together, but the guy can still find a way to do it. I don’t feel more secure or stronger about my love because more people know about it. When you are alone with the person you love, that’s where I derive my strength from — what is between us, when there’s no one around. That’s how I judge the strength of our relationship.
People feel you have stopped signing films because you are getting married soon.
That’s not true. I have a lot of work on hand. I have three films on hand — Jagga Jasoos, Fitoor and Nitya Mehra’s film which will all release by next year. I feel I have lot of work at the moment and I am very excited to sign interesting films and do good work so no, not at all!
Was it like coming out into the open with RK at the Brothers screening?
Ranbir and I have been seen driving in the same car to various locations MANY times! There’s no special coming out or making any statements. I have always been a very private person and Ranbir has always respected and understood that. I think one should elaborate more on their relationship when they are married.
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