Censor Board of Film Certification's chief, Pahlaj Nihalani has dictated that no cuss words or abusive language can be used in films (Swachh Bharat Abhiyan rocks!) The list of abuses, in English and Hindi, are banned from all Bollywood films (curiously, dumbfuck is missing from the list) and we are all naturally, quite angered by the decision.
But I can bet all my money that one man in the film industry is celebrating right now. Yes, I am talking about the Alok Nath of directors, Sooraj Barjatya and here are five ways in which I imagine him to be celebrating the ban...
Running around trees- Because how else do you express joy in a clean Hindi movie?
Booking Salman Khan for the rest of his life- Because after this ridiculous ban, Salman won't have much work to do than sign Barjatya films where people call water "jal" in routine life.
Auditioning Pomeranian dogs for Hum Aapke Hain Koun Returns- Because thanks to the Censor Board everybody is now super-available to star in this sequel.
Pointing at Anurag Kashyap and bullying him in a singsong tone- Because, Anurag is a loser! He is a loser! LOSER! (if you didn't get that reference, leave this planet)
Organizing a grand house-party- Because that way he can serve home-made prasaad for main course and have Alok Nath jamming some sanskaari tunes on his harmonium! Best. Partayyy. Ever.
Got more celebrating ideas for Barjatya? Let me know in the comments section below!
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