Want to win Best Actor or take home Best film ? Here are stone written ground rules that give you easy access to a prize
It's that time of the year when Bollywood brings out the circus or as we know it the 'Award Season'. Every odd weekend you find photos of celebs attending some or the other award show in town. Trust me they ALL want to win something. Why wouldn't they ? I mean who doesn't like to deck up his living room with a barrage of black beauties or golden statues or wooden blocks (depending on what you have won!). So how does one win an award ? It's really easy you see. In fact it's easier to win a popular award at a Bollywood show than to prebook the next iPhone!
Here are easy tricks that will guarantee you a win if you comply to either or all of these.
P.S - The chances of winning are directly proportional to the compliance rate.
Trick number 1 - Just land up at the show!
Yes, it's that easy. Attend the damn show. Don't give some sorry excuse that you are our of town or down with the flu (secretly keeping a tab on who's winning). Let your manager spread the word that you have the required dates to sit in whatever row behind whichever celebrity you are made to sit! The less fussy you are, the bigger chance of you winning favours with the organisers. So to begin with, unless you are Salman Khan (who charges a bomb to perform) do NOT miss the show at any cost.
Trick number 2 - Perform for free!
I know it breaks your heart to entertain the public without charging a penny, but a phokat ka performance is a good bet to lure the organisers into feeling sorry for you and giving you something. "I mean she is performing for free, we have to give her something", is a common conversation overheard at pre award show meetings. So become Mother Teressa for a night, put on that act and dance your butt off. The chances are the free act might fetch you the award you never deserved.
Trick number 3 - Make the studio do the dirty work
Mind you majority of the award shows are backed by a strong editorial team that has a presence in the publishing world. In simple terms these magazines and newspapers need YOU to sell their copies and meet those targets. So ask your studio to bully the poor hapless editor who is already crushed under intense stress that might pop his vein, and threaten to extended zero cooperation if you don't make it to the stage that night. Yes, trust me this has worked several times in the past and the chances are that it will continue to work as long as celebs call the shots in the publishing business.
Trick number 3 - Never EVER diss an award show publicly!
The age old rule of you don't spit in the plate that you eat off works in Bollywood as well! There have been plenty instances where actors have publicly dissed award shows and then were spotted partying the same night sulking and bitching out those who won! We aren't taking names but last year a top actor and actress both who have banned award shows were having drinks and doing dinner on the night of a BIG award show. Despite their critical and commercial successes neither of them were invited or felcititated at any of the shows that year. So remember, you are NOT Meryl Streep, in fact she's the most nominated woman in the history of Academy Awards and openly whines about how she hates losing. So if Meryl cares then your dissing seems inconsequential.
Trick number 4 - Give a performance of a lifetime
Yes I know this is by far the toughest trick in the book, but by doing this seemingly impossible task you might actually be going home with a black beauty. Every time you choose that script (though you NEED to deny that you didn't do it for the awards) ask yourself if you are pushing the envelope, breaking a stereotype, challenging yourself, thinking beyond a paycheck and there you might have an Einstein moment and realise that this could be award worthy. So work hard for that prize and you could end up with multiple nominations and deserved wins!
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