Actor Sonali Bendre on Saturday said she wanted to be in control of her life story and that is the reason why she decided to share her cancer battle with the people on social media.
The 44-year-old actor was diagnosed with high-grade cancer last year and had to undergo treatment in New York. She returned home in December and has resumed work.
Sonali had kept in loop her fans on social media about the various struggles she faced during her battle with the disease and she said it was important, to be honest with people about what she went through, including the pain.
"I wanted to be in charge of my narrative from the start. When you are a public figure, there are so many narratives that it out there. And suddenly you lose hold of that narrative very quickly. It becomes a different thing all together," the actor said at the India Today Conclave 2019.
"As I went through the process, I realised that there are so many others that would be going to through it. I wouldn't be honest that if I said, 'Everything was sunshine'. It was not, it was painful and you do have to go through it," she added.
Sonali said like many others, she also encountered pain and had many low phases and she learned that one can do nothing but to deal with it.
"Every time I kept thinking 'Why am I not being positive?' and then you start feeling 'Did I do something wrong?'. But there is pain and what can you do about it.
"You have to go through that pain. And that's why I wanted it to be out that there is pain and it is hard. The point is to reduce that time to as minimum and prolong the good time for as long as you can," the actor said.
Sonali, who ruled the '90s with movies such as "Diljale", "Sarfarosh", "Duplicate" and "Hum Saath Saath Hain", is married to filmmaker Goldie Behl. The couple has a 13-year-old son Ranveer.
Goldie and her, Sonali said, were honest when it came to breaking the news of her cancer to Ranveer and they never concealed any part of that journey from their son.
"Ranveer was on a school trip and I could have sent him back home but I needed to see him. I need to be able to talk to him. That's the way we have brought him up and we have always been very honest with him.
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From the moment he was born 12 years, 11 months and 8 days ago, my amazing @rockbehl took ownership of my heart. From then on, his happiness and wellbeing have been the centre of anything @goldiebehl and I ever did. And so, when the Big C reared its ugly head, our biggest dilemma was what and how we were going to tell him. As much as we wanted to protect him, we knew it was important to tell him the full facts. We’ve always been open and honest with him and this time it wasn’t going to be different. He took the news so maturely… and instantly became a source of strength and positivity for me. In some situations now, he even reverses roles and takes on being the parent, reminding me of things I need to do! I believe that it’s imperative to keep kids involved in a situation like this. They are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. It’s important to spend time with them and include them, rather than make them wait on the side-lines, not being told yet instinctively knowing everything. In our effort to protect them from the pain and realities of life, we might end up doing the opposite. I’m spending time with Ranveer right now, while he’s on summer vacation. His madness and shenanigans help me #SwitchOnTheSunshine. And today, we derive strength from each other #OneDayAtATime
"The only thing that we were hoping was that by not lying to him, one day he will not be lying to us. That he will be honest with us and that was the example we were trying to set."
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